Opini.

So, after years growing up with my-very-own-messed-up-self, I comprehend that I'm not the type of person who will do things if it is not caused by my own will.

Seriously. How many damn people you think have been yelling their so called "facts" on my ears, coaxing "suggestions" to make me believe that there are no other version of truths that is more righteous than theirs? This topic varies from religion, politics, definition of life with success and happiness, perspective about man and how people say they're all the same, how they define true friendship and how we should keep it, etc etc etc etc.

I mean I just don't know. There are too many things they set up over there and I'm just done listening to them. I'm just done being forced to believe in a thing I am not even given the chance to cogitate. Dan aku muak di-neraka-kan untuk tidak menelan segala yang mereka jejalkan dalam kerongkonganku.

Ujung-ujungnya, beginilah jadinya aku. I tend to refuse and despise everything that sounds to one-sided, segala hal yang terlalu sarat opini, karena jika aku menelan semuanya bulat-bulat dan membiarkan "fakta-fakta" itu membentuk diriku, apa bedanya diriku dengan sepotong tanah liat lunak?

Doesn't mean that I consider everything that other people besides me say are wrong, hell no. But I'm not exactly something they try to make me. I think I'm a little bit like this, I'm a little bit like that, and I'm also a little bit like something nobody else is, which is something original, that comes truly from myself as a being. Influences might be a part of the recipe, but my mainstay ingredient is myself. My truest and sincerest opinion. And in the future, maybe I will find myself having a similar opinion with what somebody told me to believe (which maybe I have despised too quickly) but I would rather be believing in an opinion because my experience forms it, and not because somebody else did. Let it leave me in black and blue, but if that's true, I would still go for that.

You might inspire me, but you will never dictate me.

But in fact, most of daily life situations, I don't object when people talk. I nod and stay silent because really, I don't think it would be very much beneficial to start an argument, unless you're starting to think I'm nothing more than a stupid nodding figure who will agree to everything you say. But it's just not worth the time and the anger I'll feel when I try to spit how terribly different I feel than those they try to make me feel. I'm just so tired of ending up spitting my opinions, dan kemudian, di-neraka-kan.

Nothing dude, I just feel angry. I feel angry and I've never feel me-er than this since a long time. Dan itulah kenapa aku menuliskan post ini. Aku harus kembali teringat sekali-sekali. I am my own person, aku paling aku ketika aku tahu siapa diriku, dan inilah aku. Mungkin aku diam, mungkin aku bungkam, tapi aku punya opini. Aku punya segudang opini. Dan aku tidak bodoh hanya karena kau tak pernah mendengarnya.

Lalu? Hanya karena lisanku membisu, apa itu artinya otakku pun harus bungkam? Apa itu artinya, pemikiran tak boleh lagi berkelana, dan opini harus dikebiri? Apa itu artinya, aku tak boleh merumuskan pendapatku sendiri?

Jika ternyata memang itu hukumnya, maka aku berontak.

i am a kid, but i am not a kid. don't judge me!

hey guys. howdyyy? :)
after i didn't post anything here so long time, now i think i want to post something.
well, i know this is a fashion blog, but since i have nothing to capture the photos for now, i can't post anything about fashion. but i wish i can do my fashion blog soon! wish me luck, guys! :DDD

so, today i was just chatting with my friends like usual, and we were talking about things. then i said that i read the walt disney magazine, and one of my friends burst laughed.
i had no idea why did she do that. i asked why, then she frankly answered, "what?! are you kidding? you're still reading disney magz? OMG you're really are childish!!! don't you know that kind of magz are for kids!"

well, maybe she's a bit right about that, that is for kids, and i know that. but i think she's the one who doesn't know. lots of grown up disney lovers are still reading the disney magz. they all love donald duck, mickey mouse, or else. and that is the reason why they still read it!

so, this is something i didn't tell her, but i think she's totally wrong about laughed at me. reading a disney magazine doesn't mean that i'm a kid. i mean, yes i'm a kid, i'm not a grown up. i would get over excited if i go to a beach, i'll freak out if i see a cute outfit, i'm not a grown up, but i am a disney lovers! and i love to read those magz, no matter what she say. i read it because i like the disney books. that's all!

maybe she thinks that teenagers like us shouldn't read disney magz. maybe she thinks we should read magazines like teenvogue, cosmogirl, people, looks, or gogirl!. but i read those mags too! reading the disney ones doesn't mean that i'm stuck in the childish magz, me myself as a fashion and disney lovers, read them both. so there is no reason for her to laughed at me! >:)
(actually, it's a bit funny. how could she laughed at me because she thinks i'm not reading teen magz, while she's the one who's not read them? she prefer to watch soap opera, i knew that's a fact :P)

so pls guys, don't judge ppl before you know the real fact about them. you never know why people do things, so don't just guess and then judge them like you know what yourself doing. they must be have their own reason, and just after you know their reason, you might think that it's make sense.

and this next is one of my fave quote, read this and you'll think this is so true:

“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.”